518 coda

Dear Ilysano:

Here's the 518 coda you asked for. It's not as NC-17 as I planned though. I am away from home right now so this rough draft is in English, will try to translate it back into Chinese when I get a chance. Maybe in a couple days/next week.

*love

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Zachariah finishes his summoning chant. The whole room is shaking, the white light is blinding. The change on Dean's face is dramatic, almost comical. One minute Dean is looking at him with pleading, teary eyes-I am sorry, Sammy-the next minute Dean is smirking and winking, goddamn WINKING, at him.

"Hello, Sam, nice to actually meet you this time".


No. Dean. There has be a way, there must be another way.

"Zachariah, I see you finally finished your assignment." It's weird and almost surreal to see the bald angel express that ass-kissing, trying-too-hard-to-please look toward Dean. Dean takes two steps toward Zachariah and puts his hands on the other angel's shoulder. "I do have one more task for you though. See, I want to give Sammy here a present, and what's more appropriate than this?"

Sam does not see it coming at all. Strong lights shoot out of Zach's eyes and ears, his body quickly turns into a collapsing pile of ash. Disintegrated. Completely. In one second.

Sam can no longer confuse this man with Dean. Every movement of his body carries such grace, strength, and confidence. The flat out fatigue and guarded square shoulders Dean carries- carried- with him is totally gone. Dean would also never hurt anyone on his side like this.

"Thank you, Zach. Your contribution is greatly appreciated." The stranger wearing Dean's body says to the pile of ash on the floor. Then he turns his attention to Sam.
"That was for you, Sammy, the man responsible for your brother's decision. Call it a small present from me."

"Don't call me that. I don't care what you say..." Sam is still coughing up blood when he tries to shout full volume.

"Sh, Shhhh..." Michael puts one finger over his lips, looks at him with a slight scolding concern, the kind of look Dean used to give him when he came back from school with bruises. "let me take care of this for you first, look at what he did to this body."

The pressure and pain in Sam's chest are gone the instant Michael waves a hand in his general direction. Sam charges with the rest of his sentence.

"...I am not going to say yes to Lucifer, ever. You might as well give Dean back to me, because the fight is not going to happen."

Michael studies him with curiosity, then smiles at him fondly. "You remind me so much of Lucifer. Smart, beautiful, angry, self-righteous. The rest of the angels are just kind of there to fill the spots, but him, he is the only one who dares to talk to me with that attitude. I miss that."

The pain is slowly creeping back to Sam's chest. "No, I don't expect you to say yes right this instant, you'll say yes in a couple of months. I wanted to talk to you about something else, something you might be able to help me with."

Michael crouches down right in front of Sam. He looks at Sam with this familiar pain Sam used to see in Dean's eyes.

"You see, my father gave me one job, one job only, that was to look after my brother. I single-handedly raised him, gave him all the love and caring I could, it was just me and him all along. Then one day he just turned his back from me, again and again and again. I tried to give him chance after chance, no matter how many times I had to chase after him and explain to him how we are supposed to have faith in our father."

"The last time he ran away and rebelled, he showed up with this demon, what's her name again...?"

[Ruby.]

"...Lilith, I think, the things my brother would do just to prove his point. Do you know how that broke my heart? At that point I was just tired of being the only one trying. We had a fight and, well, you know the rest. I spent millenniums alone trying to figure this out, I was wondering if you can answer this question for me, since you and Lucy are supposed to be similar and such. You see, I gave him everything from the beginning, I've never said no to him, no matter what he asked. What did I do wrong? Why did he have to keep running away from me?"

[And I was wrong, every single time I did.]

Sam turns his head away to look at his floor, he just can't take the questioning and hurt coming from Dean's too-green eyes anymore. He wants to say something, anything, to explain himself, to tell Dean it was never him he ran away from. But the lump in his throat blocks everything from coming out. Not like it matters anyway, now that Dean can't hear him anymore. Dean stopped listening to him a long time ago. Hell, maybe Sam should have said it years ago.

After a long silence Michael seems to get the idea. He reaches out a hand to get the hair in front of Sam's forehead out of the way. Sam flinches and turns further away. "Well, it's Okay. I don't have to understand why things happened, I just need to know where fate is taking us. I did realize something though."

Sam chanced a glance at Michael. "You see, this whole thing has been a bigger mess than it should had been. And it is all my fault. For I have sinned."

Michael casts his head downward and stares at a spot on the floor.The familiar curvature of Dean's neck reminds Sam of the time they burned down an entire field for a July 4th firework special. Dean just looked down and took all the blame when dad came home. The ache in Sam's chest is worse than when Zachariah toyed with him.

Michael's voice turns grave. "I was completely, head over heel, in love with my brother. This love was blinding and stopped me from thinking. I should have realized that man in front of me wasn't my little brother anymore. He has turned himself into a monster, and I should have terminated it the last time we fought. I should have..."

[Is that why you said yes, Dean? I am not worthy of being your Sammy anymore? You think I am just some Sam-shaped monster?]

"Well, I won't make the same mistake this time. I am going to step up for Lucy and kill that monster who murdered him years ago. And I need your help, Sam. I want to right it in its proper vessel, I don't want to take advantage of it, even though that's not my darling little Lucy anymore. What do you say?"

Speechless, Sam can only shake his head repeatedly. This is not real, this can't be real. Please, somebody stop this madness.

"I'll give you time to think about it, don't worry. In fact, I am going to do you another favor. I am going to heal your brother for you, and you can have him for another couple more months to yourself. I'll come back to collect though, and you'll have a different answer next time we meet."

"Are you not afraid Dean won't say yes next time? You are just going to give up your vessel like that after all the efforts?" Incredulous, is what it is.

"Oh don't worry. Dean won't remember any of this. As far as he is concerned, I came and took Zach and your little brother away before he said yes. It's easy for something to break after it has broke once, and your brother? He is so very broken already. Perfect hollowed out vessel for me. He'll say yes again."

Sam has never wanted to punch Dean's smug face as much as he does right now. Before he could react though, Michael blinked a couple times and looked at him.

"Sam? What happened? Are you Okay?"

Dean. It's Dean.

Sam struggles to get to his feet, there's no ash on the floor, no Adam, no Zachariah, no Michael in this room. Just him and Dean left. He charges forward to hug Dean as tight as he can.

"let's get out of here."