draft

The Super-natural Zoo is a small, private, zoo. He heard that some of the fences are low because it used to be a patting zoo at one point, until Kripke the crazy manager decided to acquire huge animals, like him, or animals too dangerous to pat, like the tiger next door. "I want it to be fun and scary at the same time, just like how nature is!" Kripke told the local reporters right in front of his area, waving his arms to add extra excitement. "That's why it's called Super-natural!"



He can never quit figure out why they put a moose and a tiger in two adjacent areas. It's not like they are from the same part of the world; He's an European Alces alces when his next door neighbor is an Asian Panthera tigris. They don't eat the same food, don't have the same habits, and judging by the flinch he gets every time he sees his neighbor (not that often, mind you), he bets tigers prey on moose in nature. Once again, Kripke is crazy. He just hopes the scary element Kripke wants is not supposed to be from the tiger preying on him in front of everybody.

Life is difficult as a moose. "The average adult moose needs to consume 9770 calories a day to maintain its body weight", the sign in front of his area says. That explains why he is always hungry and spends the majority of his time eating, and chewing, and eating some more. He can't help it, Okay? Whoever laughs at his giant moose ass can go fxxk himself, besides, he's got the most giant antlers in the zoo.

"Yea, yea, your antlers are so big and scary", says a voice from the other side of the fence, "I get tingly every time you scratch your back with your antlers like that."

"You are just jealous" He replies while chewing and trying to not sound too excited. He likes it when the tiger comes closer to their bordering fence. He also tries to suppress the stirring feeling that tickles the bottom of his heart every time he sees the tiger. "He's fed and full, he's not interested in you", he tells himself every time.

"You keep telling yourself that, and look manly while eating your salad" the tiger muses. He gets the feeling that he's made fun of, but he doesn't mind that much. It's the tiger, they practically grew up together. He's seen the tiger as a cub, he thinks the cat walk is kind of cute. Of course he will never tell the tiger that.


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???
- first time they met
- Kripke selling the zoo to Sera
- John as the "evil" zoolander
- SD vs J2